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Synopsis

A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.

About This Series

Two and a Half Men is a 2003 comedy series created by Lee Aronsohn and Chuck Lorre. The series spans 12 seasons and 262 episodes. It has earned an audience rating of 7.4 out of 10 based on 3,822 votes on TMDB. The series stars Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer, Conchata Ferrell among its cast of 3 credited actors.

Seasons & Episodes

• Season 1

  24 episodes • 2003

  1. E1 Pilot
  2. E2 Big Flappy Bastards
  3. E3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
  4. E4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
  5. E5 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
  6. E6 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
  7. E7 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
  8. E8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
  9. E9 Phase One, Complete
  10. E10 Merry Thanksgiving
  11. E11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
  12. E12 Camel Filters and Pheromones
  13. E13 Sarah Like Puny Alan
  14. E14 I Can't Afford Hyenas
  15. E15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
  16. E16 That Was Saliva, Alan
  17. E17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
  18. E18 An Old Flame With a New Wick
  19. E19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
  20. E20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
  21. E21 No Sniffing, No Wowing
  22. E22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
  23. E23 Just Like Buffalo
  24. E24 Can You Feel My Finger?

• Season 2

  24 episodes • 2004

  1. E1 Back Off, Mary Poppins
  2. E2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
  3. E3 A Bag Full of Jawea
  4. E4 Go Get Mommy's Bra
  5. E5 Bad News from the Clinic?
  6. E6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
  7. E7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
  8. E8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
  9. E9 Yes, Monsignor
  10. E10 The Salmon Under My Sweater
  11. E11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
  12. E12 A Lungful of Alan
  13. E13 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
  14. E14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
  15. E15 Smell the Umbrella Stand
  16. E16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
  17. E17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
  18. E18 It Was 'Mame', Mom
  19. E19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
  20. E20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
  21. E21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
  22. E22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
  23. E23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
  24. E24 Does This Smell Funny to You?

• Season 3

  24 episodes • 2005

  1. E1 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
  2. E2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
  3. E3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
  4. E4 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
  5. E5 We Called It Mr. Pinky
  6. E6 Hi, Mr. Horned One
  7. E7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
  8. E8 That Voodoo That I Do Do
  9. E9 Madame and Her Special Friend
  10. E10 Something Salted and Twisted
  11. E11 Santa's Village of the Damned
  12. E12 That Special Tug
  13. E13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
  14. E14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
  15. E15 My Tongue Is Meat
  16. E16 Ergo, the Booty Call
  17. E17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
  18. E18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler
  19. E19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
  20. E20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
  21. E21 And the Plot Moistens
  22. E22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie
  23. E23 Arguments for the Quickie
  24. E24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

• Season 4

  24 episodes • 2006

  1. E1 Working for Caligula
  2. E2 Who Is This Vod Kanockers?
  3. E3 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
  4. E4 A Pot-Smokin' Monkey
  5. E5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
  6. E6 Apologies for the Frivolity
  7. E7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
  8. E8 Release the Dogs
  9. E9 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
  10. E10 Kissing Abe Lincoln
  11. E11 Walnuts and Demerol
  12. E12 Castrating Sheep in Montana
  13. E13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer
  14. E14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
  15. E15 My Damn Stalker
  16. E16 Young People Have Phlegm Too
  17. E17 I Merely Slept with a Commie
  18. E18 It Never Rains in Hooterville
  19. E19 Smooth as a Ken Doll
  20. E20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
  21. E21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
  22. E22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
  23. E23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
  24. E24 Prostitutes and Gelato

• Season 5

  19 episodes • 2007

  1. E1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
  2. E2 Media Room Slash Dungeon
  3. E3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
  4. E4 City of Great Racks
  5. E5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
  6. E6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
  7. E7 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
  8. E8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
  9. E9 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
  10. E10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
  11. E11 Meander to Your Dander
  12. E12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
  13. E13 The Soil Is Moist
  14. E14 Winky-Dink Time
  15. E15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
  16. E16 Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty
  17. E17 Fish in a Drawer
  18. E18 If My Hole Could Talk
  19. E19 Waiting for the Right Snapper

• Season 6

  24 episodes • 2008

  1. E1 Taterhead Is Our Love Child
  2. E2 Pie Hole, Herb
  3. E3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict
  4. E4 The Flavin' and the Mavin'
  5. E5 A Jock Strap in Hell
  6. E6 It's Always Nazi Week
  7. E7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy
  8. E8 Pinocchio's Mouth
  9. E9 The Mooch at the Boo
  10. E10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
  11. E11 The Devil's Lube
  12. E12 Thank God for Scoliosis
  13. E13 I Think You Offended Don
  14. E14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
  15. E15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat
  16. E16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
  17. E17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
  18. E18 My Son's Enormous Head
  19. E19 The Two Finger Rule
  20. E20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
  21. E21 Above Exalted Cyclops
  22. E22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
  23. E23 Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
  24. E24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids

• Season 7

  22 episodes • 2009

  1. E1 818-JKLPUZO
  2. E2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
  3. E3 Mmm, Fish. Yum.
  4. E4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
  5. E5 For the Sake of the Child
  6. E6 Give Me Your Thumb
  7. E7 Untainted by Filth
  8. E8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
  9. E9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
  10. E10 That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
  11. E11 Warning, It's Dirty
  12. E12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
  13. E13 Yay, No Polyps!
  14. E14 Crude and Uncalled For
  15. E15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
  16. E16 Tinkle Like a Princess
  17. E17 I Found Your Moustache
  18. E18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
  19. E19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
  20. E20 I Called Him Magoo
  21. E21 Gumby with a Pokey
  22. E22 This Is Not Gonna End Well

• Season 8

  16 episodes • 2010

  1. E1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
  2. E2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
  3. E3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus
  4. E4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
  5. E5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
  6. E6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger
  7. E7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette
  8. E8 Springtime on a Stick
  9. E9 A Good Time in Central Africa
  10. E10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
  11. E11 Dead from the Waist Down
  12. E12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
  13. E13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
  14. E14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs
  15. E15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
  16. E16 That Darn Priest

• Season 9

  24 episodes • 2011

  1. E1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
  2. E2 People Who Love Peepholes
  3. E3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
  4. E4 Nine Magic Fingers
  5. E5 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
  6. E6 The Squat and Hover
  7. E7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
  8. E8 Thank You for the Intercourse
  9. E9 Frodo's Headshots
  10. E10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
  11. E11 What a Lovely Landing Strip
  12. E12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
  13. E13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
  14. E14 A Possum on Chemo
  15. E15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
  16. E16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
  17. E17 Not in My Mouth!
  18. E18 The War Against Gingivitis
  19. E19 Palmdale, Ech
  20. E20 Grandma's Pie
  21. E21 Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
  22. E22 Why We Gave Up Women
  23. E23 The Straw in My Donut Hole
  24. E24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

• Season 10

  23 episodes • 2012

  1. E1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk
  2. E2 A Big Bag of Dog
  3. E3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
  4. E4 You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
  5. E5 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
  6. E6 Ferrets, Attack!
  7. E7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard
  8. E8 Something My Gynecologist Said
  9. E9 I Scream When I Pee
  10. E10 One Nut Johnson
  11. E11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole
  12. E12 Welcome to Alancrest
  13. E13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line
  14. E14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!
  15. E15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
  16. E16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
  17. E17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
  18. E18 The 9:04 from Pemberton
  19. E19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
  20. E20 Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
  21. E21 Another Night with Neil Diamond
  22. E22 My Bodacious Vidalia
  23. E23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped

• Season 11

  22 episodes • 2013

  1. E1 Nangnangnangnang
  2. E2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
  3. E3 This Unblessed Biscuit
  4. E4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
  5. E5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
  6. E6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
  7. E7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
  8. E8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
  9. E9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
  10. E10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
  11. E11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts
  12. E12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
  13. E13 Bite Me, Supreme Court
  14. E14 Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
  15. E15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
  16. E16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
  17. E17 Welcome Home, Jake
  18. E18 West Side Story
  19. E19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
  20. E20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
  21. E21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
  22. E22 Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead

• Season 12

  16 episodes • 2014

  1. E1 The Ol' Mexican Spinach
  2. E2 A Chic Bar in Ibiza
  3. E3 Glamping in a Yurt
  4. E4 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
  5. E5 Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
  6. E6 Alan Shot a Little Girl
  7. E7 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
  8. E8 Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
  9. E9 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
  10. E10 Here I Come, Pants!
  11. E11 For Whom the Booty Calls
  12. E12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
  13. E13 Boompa Loved His Hookers
  14. E14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
  15. E15 Of Course He's Dead (1)
  16. E16 Of Course He's Dead (2)

• Specials

  41 episodes

  1. E1 Original Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal
  2. E2 Jake's a Regular Kid
  3. E3 Jennifer Taylor on Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer Marriage Problems
  4. E4 Jon Cryer wins an Emmy for Two and a Half Men at the 2009 Primetime Emmy Awards
  5. E5 Behind the Scenes
  6. E6 Finding Angus
  7. E7 Getting Charlie Sheen
  8. E8 Jennifer Taylor
  9. E9 Jon's Advice to Charlie
  10. E10 Mama's Boys
  11. E11 Marin Hinkle
  12. E12 Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over
  13. E13 Two and a Half Men and CSI - Behind the Scenes Cross Over 2
  14. E14 Bloopers Season 01
  15. E15 Bloopers Season 02
  16. E16 Bloopers Season 03
  17. E17 Bloopers Season 04
  18. E18 Bloopers Season 05
  19. E19 Bloopers Season 06
  20. E20 Bloopers Season 07
  21. E21 Bloopers Season 08
  22. E22 Bloopers Season 09
  23. E23 Bloopers Season 10
  24. E24 Bloopers Season 11
  25. E25 Bloopers Season 12
  26. E26 Two and a Half Men - In the Beginning
  27. E27 Two Men Talking About Two and a Half Men
  28. E28 The 100th episode of Two and a Half Men
  29. E29 "Must Pause TV" - The story of Chuck Lorre
  30. E30 Two and a Half Men: Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard
  31. E31 CSI-Episode: Two and a Half Deaths
  32. E32 Growing up Harper
  33. E33 The Women of Two and a Half Men
  34. E34 Charlie's EX Reunion
  35. E35 Two and a Half Men Version 2.0
  36. E36 The Billionaire Upgrade: How Walden Schmidt redesigned the house in Malibu
  37. E37 Two Manly Men - Singing and Dancing
  38. E38 Backstage Tour with Angus T. Jones
  39. E39 Two Adults, One Kid, No Grown-ups
  40. E40 The Serious Business of Writing Comedy
  41. E41 A Day in the Life of Two and a Half Men

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Cast

Crew